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I Wish My Wife Still Looked At Porn

One if the best things in life is getting to see the one you love, completely and totally functioning in the middle of God’s plan.
It is magical.
It makes you want to be used by God at a much higher level.
See I’m the one on stage.
I sing the songs.
I counsel the couples.
I speak at the conferences.
Heather has always been my biggest supporter.
Actually, tonight, while I was sitting on the sofa downstairs trying to fix my blog, she was upstairs being completely ignored by yours truly. Then I got this email…

“I know I don’t tell you enough… I love you. I am so proud to be married to you. You have such an amazing talent. God has poured his blessings on you. People try their whole lives to try to say just the right thing, or lead worship as effortlessly as you, people long to be a people person, people try to have others follow. You just have it. I am so excited to see how God is gonna use what he gave you. I am so excited to watch God rattle you a little to only use you more. I love you. I am honored to be your lady. I want to make you happy. I want to make you proud. I want to follow you. I want you. GO Bring Revival To Buckhead!!! Balls out! I love you baby. h’

She emailed me that from 15 feet away. I stopped what I was doing, cried, thanked God for Heather, then walked upstairs to tell her that I don’t deserve her. She was sleeping. So I laid down beside her and held her. Then I stuck my ice cold feet between her thighs and laughed as she punched me in the chest.

I am the luckiest man in the world.
And I realized something.
Not only did Heather leave her family, friends, and church to follow God out here, she left her ministry.
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Her personal ministry.

See Heather was always trying to find her niche in church.
She never felt like she was in the perfect place in ministry.
Then came JC’s Girls.
How in the world could my wife relate to women who have sex on camera for a living?
Because she saw them as no farther away from Christ as she was on her best day.
The only difference is that she had made the decision to give her life away to God Almighty.
And she thrived.
Everytime she would get to go to another Adult Expo I would see her eyes light up for 2 weeks before the event.
Where she was able to tell girls that when the time came, they had a place and an ear to go to.
Heather was in her zone.
And she gave that up for me. For Buckhead Church. For God’s perfect plan.
She is the most encouraging woman on the planet and I can’t wait until God opens another door to allow her to get back into her spot.
Loving the unlovable and making them believe that there is something more.

All while looking at porn…
Los

  • Wow… When I was reading this, I almost cried, then I came to the cold feet between the thigh thing. I was in a moment dude! lol

    It’s amazing how we realize what God has given us. Interestingly, though, we seem to realize the significance of it latter than what we would think.

  • Wow…beautiful post Los (well except for the whole feet thing!) I don’t know if you have heard of this ministry but there is a ministry in Atlanta called Victoria’s Friends that works with strippers. I don’t know if it is something Heather might be interested in but as I read your post this ministry came to mind….here is the website…

    http://victoriasfriends.com/home.html

  • Albee

    Hey guys…love you!

  • Nic

    Thank you, that as I read this, it reminded me of my fiance(add accent mark). As I have been engaged now for almost 9 months and am getting married in January (woohoo! distance relationships suck…but are good) I am seeing how God pairs just the right 2 people together. I know that Sarah is perfect me just as I can Heather is perfect for you. However, if we were switched, I don’t think there’s anyway Sarah could be with you or Heather with me. God’s sovereignty and kindness to us in it all is absolutely astounding to me. Thanks for the reminder. I’m glad your site works again.

  • cool

  • This was lovely. Sure, the title line was…interesting but well done in wrapping it up in the end!

  • I’m about to marry a woman of the same caliber… and you’re right: We don’t deserve women like that.

  • Dude, you better hold onto that rad woman. She’s definitely got a God-Sized heart. Thanks for a very inspiring post!

  • jan

    None of us in ministry could ever make it without a spouse who believes in us more than we believe in ourselves. My husband has never really been rattled by those who said I “can’t” or more often “Shouldn’t” – he thinks I can do anything God wants me to do. His love has really enabled me to grow as a minister and to dream big God-sized dreams, no matter what anyone else might say. He’s always sitting right there on the front row when I lead worship and he always thinks I do a great job, even when I blow it. These spouses truly are a gift from God to us for more reasons than we can count. I thank God with you.

  • What a blessing!

  • Jess G

    I tried to find JC’S Girls online….the website isn’t there anymore…..I know you said your wife isn’t involved currently w/the ministry….are they still active? I want to know more!

    • Karyn

      There are two large chapters of JC’s Girls still operating that I know of (probably more) Central Christian Church in Henderson Nevada is the main chapter where Heather Veitch(co-founder) continues the ministry and a very large and active group at The Rock Church in San Diego. I’m not sure of Central’s website but The Rock’s chapter can be found at: jcsgirls.org
      Hope this helps
      Blessings

  • this is dope as dope can be. like dope.

  • i absolutely am in awe of this ministry. when i first started learning about such a ministry, it was from heather. i desperately want to be a part of a such a ministry and pray for heather that she’s able to find that kind of niche in ministry at Buckhead. surely, there is are porn stars in ATL. surely.

  • Amazing post Los… LOVE it!

    So, have you heard about Vince and his wife planting a church on the strip in Vegas?…

  • Awww. I think she must have nerves of steel added to that heart of gold. To keep from kicking those men in the balls when she sees them — grrrr!!

    Amazing!!

  • You know, the Word talks about how the marriage relationship is similar to that of us & Christ. And just like I don’t deserve Christ, boy howdy, I do NOT deserve my wife. Only by the grace of God do I have my wife and Christ! And I’m sure the rest of the men here would agree.

  • hey man

    there are some ministries in atlanta that focus on the strippers/prostitutes etc in town.. also some great ministries that fight the sex slave trade, which, as you probably know is enormous here in atlanta.

    when christian church buckhead was meeting at the renovated gold club we ran into lots of great ministries doing similar work.

    the big one in town is called Victoria’s Friends – http://www.victoriasfriends.com – have her check it out! they go to the clubs, meet with the girls etc etc. it’s an awesome ministry.

  • Jeremy

    Dude, I am a guy in ministry also and a couple weeks ago my wife wrote me a similar letter & after I read it I was a sobbing mess. It means so much to have your wife be an encourager in your life.
    After I read your blog I got the letter out from my wife and read it again…and cried…again.
    Thanks for this post.

  • Ok, you just made me cry.

    I LOVE that Heather did this!!
    I had never heard of another church doing this (besides my own — Healing Place Church), but I totally support this form of ministry 100%!

    I think it is awesome that the two of you are reaching SO many people is such unique ways.
    God has big plans for the two of you, and it’s pretty cool that we (your readers) get to watch as they unfold…
    Wonderful, Wonderful post!

  • Man, thanks for that post. I love your honesty and love for your wife. Don’t stop sharing those moments. Many need to hear about them. Thanks again for your heart.

  • You have an amazing wife

  • johnny rotten

    oh, great. now my X3watch monitoring software in going to get flagged every time i visit the r’muffin. and MY wife isn’t quite so, umm, “ministerial” on this issue.
    but your wife is. and that, my digital friend, is wonderful and amazing. i loved how you said, “Because she saw them as no farther away from Christ as she was on her best day.” That’s the ragamuffin way.

  • so, I didn’t see anyone mention it (other than j.rotten for Xwatch)…..she could help the guys at X3 church for the pron conventions. maybe…..

  • People can pump you up all day only to deflate. Nothing makes us float above the clouds like our wives though.

  • I love that! I didnt know that’s what her ministry was. I thought that maybe it was just me who didn’t feel like I fit in the “typical” ministry! I am loud, outspoken, and sometimes rebellious and am made to feel like those qualities and ministry dont mix!

  • Jana Strickland

    Got your tweet on this yesterday and I was taken back by the title then I realized I needed to read it – you can get people’s attention that’s for sure! I’m Sean Strickland’s wife your IT Director for NPM ) What an amazing story – Thanks for sharing.

  • Amber

    You are an awesome reminder that we don’t have to be dorks to be True Christians. Thank you very much. Hopefully this post doesn’t have anything to do with Heather’s recent “Help Me Get Fat!” post. Kidding!

  • MIdge

    Heather is truly “one of the most encouraging women on the planet”! And she is truly ministering to people with her blog and the encouragment she is to other’s who blog (her blogging party is an example) Maybe the attendees of the party are not from the “movie” industry but I’ll bet they need encouragement, friends and most certainly Jesus just the same as JC’s Girls! And it is obvious that you both know how to introduce people to HIM!
    Keep on being so very transparent…you make me think outside the box more and more each day!

  • Wow Los i dont even know where to begin. You already know this man….but God has blessed you bro. Both you and Heather will be rewarded. Thanks for the awesome testimony on your wifes part.

  • That’s an amazing ministry that Heather is a part of. I see a lot of Jesus in those who will go out and try to reach people that, let’s be honest, most of us would be terrified just to be around. You’ve got an awesome wife there.

  • I certainly hope so.
    The communist faction is so off-putting…

  • I certainly hope so.
    The communist faction is so off-putting…

  • I LOVE your work…like Jesus and many other great prophets, you are right in the middle of lives that need comfort…that need REAL love and you do it respectfully and passionately..and without judgment! YOU TWO ROCK…..God Bless You and Keep on doin ‘it!

  • gabriella

    WOW.

  • Not sure how I’ve missed this one til now, but… love it!

    Y’all truly are a couple divinely appointed! Thanks for the great read for the day!

  • Carlos. Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate your honesty and openness. It was great to get to know you a little better last week at Catalyst. Blessings to you and your family man.

  • While my wife has never sent me a note like that, we are in that same situation.. I took my wife away from her family, friends, and her dream (to be a house wife living on the same street as her parents… Deep I know).. But she left it all to follow me as I followed God.. The women who marry guys in ministry truly are crazy… but amazing women!

  • This is amazing, dude. Gives me goosebumps. We’re never beyond His mercy, are we?

    Wow!

    Just blown away.

  • Karyn Flanagan

    You ARE the “luckiest man in the world” Beautiful wife, wonderful fam and walking right in the center of God’s will for your life. I pray for you and Heather often. I am so glad you recognize what an awesome wife you have and what she is willing to give to be by your side and walk in God’s will with you. Miss you both!
    Continue being awesome…both of you!
    & I’ll continue praying for you.

  • brittany

    i was one of those women who worked in porn. mine was not always by choice. i wish i would have had someone like heather when i was still there. maybe i would have come to jesus sooner. but i’m here now and i am so thankful that her heart is there.

  • Marlenea

    I was shocked at the title coming from YOU of all people on my facebook page so (as you knew it would!)I clicked on it and read it! What a blessing to have Heather and really, as I have been on all sides, what a blessing she must have been and I will pray for God to open those doors again as us girls NEED to know the love of God with someone who is not having pity or judgment on our actions.! =) God delivered me however, I struggle with desires and dysfunction in normal relationships now due to the past. I’m always just a decision away from returning so Heather you have know idea how awsome that ministry is!!

  • Marssia

    So great! God is amazing how He uses us!

  • Elizabeth

    Tears in my eyes as I read this. What a beauty Heather is, inside and out. What an amazing Jesus-heart radiating from her!

  • Brandi

    Tears. What a sweet husband you are for acknowledging what she did and who she is. Sometimes, as women, we feel unimportant and this made me smile. You know what else made me smile? Heather’s ministry. GET IT GIRL. My heart is in the same place as hers. I long for the day Jesus will use my heart to minister to women about their worth. They are so very worthy of the greatness God has stored up for them!!!

  • I don’t know much about Heather, but this just made me love her. Please write more about your amazing wife!!!

  • Beth Bates

    That is amazing! I have a friend who has a ministry here in Texas call Lavish. They go into the strip clubs and decorate lockers and leave little gifts. And offer the gift of Jesus to anyone who wants to engage. It’s a beautiful thing.

  • chris

    Awesome, as a fellow worship leader who has struggled in the last few years especially in my marriage I pray my wife finds purpose like yours has and we come to a place to see each other like you do. God bless you both.