Feel My Face And Dodge My Lips – Fatherhood

facessea

When you give me that look you are giving in that top left picture I have to turn my head to smile before I turn back and look devastated.
When you give me that fake smile like you did in the top right picture I see your mother before I ever saw your mother.
When you finally get over yourself and lose yourself in silliness like that bottom left picture my stomach hurts from laughing as I walk that fine line of not making you feel laughed AT but laughed WITH.
And in that bottom right pic, when you spread your eye lids wide as the chasm I feel in my chest when I have to get on a plane or get on a bus, I actually see more of me that I care to admit.

There is no understanding that exists inside of me that could adequately communicate the painful, high, and reckless love in which you fill me with.
When you simply press your cheek to mine to feel my face or dodge my lips my heart almost stops.

Look. I know your a mommy’s girl. You like to tell me. She likes to tell me. But last night when you walked upstairs I heard you…then I saw you…I saw you walk to the middle of the room…see mommy on uncle Eric’s one couch…then me on the other couch…I saw you walk over to mommy and lay down…I smiled…then 30 seconds later I felt you lay next to me…

I smiled…and hoped the beads of salt and water would stay on my cheek and not fall on your face…
They fell…
And I fell more in love with you…
Because even in your drunken, sleepy, incoherent state…
You chose me to hold you…
Even though actually…
You held me…
Keep wrecking and rebuilding my heart Seanna…
You make me feel alive.
Daddy

loswhit

Author loswhit

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  • Dang bro. Just about cried like a babe.

    I love being a dad. Thanks for reminding me today.

  • Blair

    Now I can’t wait for my girls to get out of the tub so I can cuddle them. Thanks, Los, for putting words to not only your heart’s cry, but my own.

  • every little girl should be so lucky to be loved like that…

  • Niki Boggs

    I wish my dad could have expressed these words to me in some way… or even emotionally. Keep telling your girls how much you love and care for them. They need it more than a daddy will EVER know!

  • Wow. Thanks for sharing that. I hope that, if/when the Lord allows me to be a dad, I can be half as great at expressing love to my kids as you are. Keep up the example for us, dude.

  • Sick love. I feel it for my girls too. It’s a different feel for my son. Not less, but different.

  • Kristi

    Beautiful. That’s all I got to say about that.

  • I feel you…closing laptop now to hold my baby girl. Thanks.

  • @LaureeAshcom

    you are a really good daddy….

    if you keep adoring your daughter like that she will not need to find some pimply-faced boy to like her and will be more likely to make a good decision when it is time to find someone to love.

    how will anyone measure up to daddy?

  • dang it – you’re makin’ me cry!

    that was so beautiful…

  • this really is some good writing man

  • Precious. That’s why God chose “daddy” for his metaphor with us. Good reminder…

  • Love that. I hope you can print out all those letters you write to your kids and give them to them one day to keep. Beautiful…

  • This made me cry. It’s amazing to read the words of a Dad’s love for his little girl, but even more amazing to experience them! Beautiful post Los.

  • Beautiful.

  • wow. tears.

    thanks for being an example of what a father should be to this fatherless generation.

  • wow. if only i had a father like that. to read that was healing. thank you. showing me what a real father would be like.

    cant wait to have kids to know that feeling…the feeling of deep love the is deeper than you can imagine but continues to grow.

  • Sitting at my desk at work crying. Regretting not hugging my teens today. Regretting the harsh words we all said a few days ago. Loving knowing they still love me and I love them. Remember these times, they pass quickly and then they are teens like mine.

  • dude… that was beautiful. as always.

  • Absolutely beautiful. This will no doubt have your daughter in tears one day. I pray someday every little girl will have a daddy who loves her the way you love yours!

  • Mark

    Your posts always make me stop and think, but none more than this one. Great post.