A Nigger…A Gas Station…And God Smack

When I walked out of the bedroom, down the hallway, and into the living room, there she was.
Face down on the ground.
Palms facing towards the sky.
“I really don’t have time for this” I thought to myself.
But how was I supposed to see my wife facedown before the Lord and not, myself, do the same?
So down I went.
And it wasn’t even 45 seconds.
But this is what I prayed…
“God. I’m overwhelmed. Like seriously overwhelmed. I’m not in control anymore. Please be in control. I give up.”
I stood up, kissed the fam, walked out the door, and drove to the gas station.
There was nothing about my pump partner that screamed racist.
It was a Nissan Pathfinder not a Ford F150.
But I could literally FEEL him staring a hole through the back of my neck.
It’s funny.
I don’t know what it is, but, I can just TELL when someone is hating on my pigment.
And I could tell.
Finally, after 45 seconds I turned around and looked at him.
He was still staring.
I wanted to say “WHAT?!” but simply smiled and looked back down.
A few seconds later he got in his truck, rolled forward a few feet, rolled down his window and…
“Go Home !#$@ Nigger”
It wasn’t even a yell. A scream. Which caught me off guard.
When this has happened before it was more of an announcement to the world of the individuals ignorance.
This was different.
If he could have whispered it he would have.
It was just for me.
In .5 seconds he peeled out.
In 1.5 seconds I was right behind him driving east on 40.
What was I planning on doing?
I have no idea.
All I could think about was just one good punch in the face.
I probably gave pursuit for 30 seconds.
30 seconds of self dripping, anger filled pursuit.
Then, almost audibly…
“You got on your face this morning and told me I am in control, yet here you are trying to be in control…”
And I eased off the gas.
My heart was racing.
I had to take a hit off my inhaler.

Today alone…
I have 3 chapters due to my editor for the book I think is going to not only wreck your lives in a fantastic way, but the lives of millions of unsuspecting Ragamuffins.
I have meetings with Discovery Show producers on something that could change my life.
I have a worship leading livestream tonight where I’m praying to encourage hundreds of worshippers.
And I’m chasing an ignorant, small minded, small you know what, idiot.

So today, whatever is thrown your way, remember…
Jesus gets back up on Sunday.
We win.
Eyes gazing at God while glancing at life…
Los