Child Abuse, Strength, And The Beating…


Author loswhit

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  • I struggle with a lot of things as a result of 15 years of abuse. I struggle with thinking people don’t like me… I struggle with wanting people to like and accept me. I struggle with thinking I will ever be good enough to get married. . And I struggle with thinking I will never amount to much in my life. At 32 years of age, I struggle most with thinking I should be over this stuff by now.. but, I’ve also learned to fully trust God as my Father, provider, friend, and redeemer. I’ve fallen into many devastating and messy areas, but I’ve also grasped grace in a sense that I depend on it like oxygen. I believe that feeling so unloved for so long, it’s helped me to understand a bit how Jesus loves us when He allows me to love others. He’s taken me deeper than I ever would have imagined… and for that, I am forever grateful.

  • I still hear my father’s voice telling me I’ll never amount to anything, that no one likes me and I ruined his life. I can remember the fists and watching him cuss out my mom in front of me and my brothers. It’s taken me a long time, lots of tears and lots of bad poems to begin liking myself. Now I’m 28, married with 2 kids, a great job where I can be creative and I know the God who loves me and knows me personally. With this many incredible people who love and like me, it’s hard to listen to the voices anymore. Thanks for starting this discussion.

  • Anonymous

    I was abused. I am dealing with the fallout every day. Emotionally, I am a mess and although I try to be strong, it is hard every day. I have PTSD as a 21 year old. Basically, I will deal with mental illness my whole life. It will improve, but it will also always be present.

    I feel like I never got a fair opportunity, and that life has always been and will always be harder for me than for anyone else. I feel ignored, misunderstood, awkward and insecure in my own skin. I don’t have any good friends because of fear…both of them and of how they see me. I am paranoid and have troubles trusting anyone. I am angry a lot because I slipped under the radar so many times. No one stopped to really listen and no one rescued me. Like the kid in the video, I counted down the years until adulthood, until I could get free. And I have gotten free physically. But my abuser still lives in my head, haunting me and tormenting me.

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  • That video made me weep. My childhood was basically hell and I was abused emotionally, physically, sexually and verbally before age 10. I was so lucky to have my grandmother come and take me out of the situation (though there was a year in 6th grade I insisted on living with my mom again in hopes to protect her from the men she kept choosing to be with) I was given a second chance at life through my grandparents. I’m healthy, alive and almost finished with college. But I struggle daily with acceptance of my past and recognizing my worth. (I actually blogged a bit about my experience here:

  • anonymous1

    I was physically, mentally and sexually abused by my father until I was 16 years old and my mother never did anything to protect me. It took me telling her I was leaving and her saying “I’ll go with you.” I got us a house and we moved out in the middle of the night. I struggle to pay for the meds and therapy it takes to purge myself of the past. I struggled with my image of God as a loving father for a long time. I struggle with the idea of forgiveness and I struggle with anger not only at my father, but at the countless other adults who never protected me. I struggle with people in the church telling me that I have to forgive, I may never really be able to forgive. I have triggering flashbacks and PTSD as well as depression. I struggle with loving my mother and having a relationship with her. I struggle every time my father finds a way to get in touch with me either through other people or his super skip tracing skills, and I have to once again figure out a way to just get rid of him. I struggle with the idea that I may one day have to trust my husband with a child should I have one. The impact that child abuse has simply cannot be measured, and the power that a Father has over a child is such a precious thing that is so absolute and can be twisted so easily. I look to fathers like you, Los, to “prove” to me that I am not the norm, and that there are men out there who can model a Heavenly Father to their children.