Hey Seanna. It’s your dad. The one holding you in the picture above this. I love you more than life itself. I wrote 10 things I think you should remember the next 10 years of life. Some of them won’t make sense right now, but it will sooner than later. Thanks for giving me the best 10 years of my life.
1. When you roll your eyes, roll them at 120 frames per second.
You are a master at rolling them already. I know I can’t undo that because, well, you are your mother. So when you roll them, make sure the whites of your eyes hypnotize the person you are destroying.
2. Boobs are coming. Those are created for your children and your husband. Not for YouTube and Instagram. If they get really big thats awesome. If they stay really little. That’s awesome. Be happy with your boobs no matter what they look like. Just keep them covered up please.
3. Skinny doesn’t mean healthy. Eat clean. Your body will take the shape it’s gonna naturally take. Lot’s of guys like curves. Your mom’s butt makes Kim Karashian’s butt wanna cry uncle. It’s so perfect. That’s why I am always grabbing it. I don’t have a butt. I have a back with a crack. So just accept your body for what it is. If your insides are healthy, your outsides will be too.
4. Every phone you will ever own will have a camera facing your face and another facing the world. Use the one staring at you sparingly. The world will appreciate how you see them much more than 34 selflies a day.
5. When you finally kiss him. Don’t shove your tongue down his throat. That’s just for the movies. Slow soft lips win every time. And if his hands leave your back, lift your right knee in an upward violent motion and he will stop immediately.
6. Don’t smoke. It’s trashy and the kind of guy who kisses a girl who’s breath tastes like an ash tray isn’t the kind of guy you wanna kiss anyways. Daddy smoked for a while. And I still do every few months at a party or something. It’s simply because I’m trying to be cool and I actually hate it.
7. Say yes. Most of the world will tell you to say no more. To protect your time. Screw that. You aren’t promised tomorrow. I’ve found that if you say yes more you will live a much fuller life. Be smart about it, but yes brings more adventure than no.
8. Go to therapy. I know I have jacked you up plenty. And I know when you finally go to counseling you will uncover ways that I could have been a better dad. That’s ok. I want you to uncover those things. I’m doing the best I can but I also know I’m screwing you up in some ways. But at the end of the day, after all the therapy in the world, you still have my arms to come and rest in. That won’t ever change.
9. Look EVERYONE in the eye. It shows your strength and you are so strong. When you are in the wrong, apologize and look them in the eye. When you go to your job interview look them in the eye. When you meet someone for the first time and they are the most uninteresting person on planet earth, look them in the eye. The second you start looking past people instead of into people is the day you begin to lose at life. Look in not through.
10. Don’t believe in their God. Believe in yours. All the sermons you have heard thus far are the greatest blessing and worst curse you own. Make sure you find God for yourself. If you end up finding a different God than I found, I’ll still love you. I hope and pray you find Jesus, but Id rather you actually search and find something else then sit like a zombie and accept everything anyone ever tells you. If you search hard enough I trust you will find the truth. And the truth will set you free.
Happy Birthday Baby.