“But You’re Not REALLY An Author”

These thoughts brought to you by as I’m currently flying by the above image to my left…

See here is my problem today.
I don’t believe myself.
That’s right.  I don’t believe myself.
It’s not that I don’t believe IN myself.
That I do.
I believe that I can write.  I believe that I can tell a great story.  I believe that I am GOOD enough to write a book.
So what’s the problem?
It’s my friends.
Seriously.
Well not really.  Cause it’s not really them as much as it is me.
But hear me out.
This is about to sound like a name dropping clinic…and it is.
My friends, like the ones I do life with, hang out with, and spill my guts to…
They are all best selling authors.
It’s what they always wanted to be.
It’s what they were MADE to BE.
Donald Miller.  Jon Acuff.  Angie Smith.  Shauna Niquest.
Just SOME of the many author friends I have.
NYT Best Sellers. Professional Circuit Speakers. Megachurch teachers.
And then there is me.
Carlos.
Who is releasing his little book in a couple of weeks.
I feel like such a fraud.
And it is a tough feeling to get past.
Like right now…I’m on this airplane, sitting net to this Somoan guy from Salt Lake City.
He just asked me what I do.  I’m assuming he’s not asking what I do to look so stunningly sexy as I cram this bag of pretzel M&M’s down my pinhole.
No.
He’s asking me what I do for a living.
I sat there for what felt like 30 seconds…
The words were on the tip of my tongue…

“Just say you’re an author Carlos.  Say it.  I mean you ARE an author.  I now you don’t really have a book to sell yet.  But it’s coming.  I mean it’s not as thick as some of your friends books.  It’s not as funny as their books.  It’s not as hard back as their books.  But you did write a book.  CARLOS MAN.  TELL HIM YOU ARE AN AUTHOR!!!”

“I’m a singer man.  How bout you.”

And with that sentence I blew it.  I knew what I want to be known for in this season of life but resorted back to what I’m already known for.
Hear me.  I LOVE the fact that I get to travel the world and sing songs about Jesus.
But I also KNOW that I have been designed for a season to write words without melodies that speak truth to a generation of people who have begun existing in life.

So here are my goals for the day.
1.  Next time someone asks me what I do…tell them I’m an author.  BECAUSE I AM.
2.  Stop comparing my success to my friends who have been doing this a lot longer than I.
3.  Give a copy away of my book without apologizing for some aspect of it.

I’m fairly certain I can pull these bad boys off in the next hour without looking like an idiot.
So yea.  There you have it.
Day 2 of this 31 day journey towards releasing my book Moment Maker.  Here is a link to yesterday’s post and DAY 1 of this month long journey…
Complete with self doubt and the grind to get past it.
What’s the one thing you want to call yourself that you haven’t been able to muster the courage to call yourself yet?
Los

loswhit

Author loswhit

More posts by loswhit
  • Missy Smith Lawson

    Pre-ordered the Kindle version earlier, Carlos! Walk in confidence!

  • reallyemileelowe

    So, what do you do??? P.s. Did you say”give a copy of my book away”? Cause I can inbox my address whenever you’re ready to do that. That is all. Oh, and you are awesomely gifted at life.

  • I am a Harlem Globetrotter.

  • Dave Eaker

    Crash the Chatterbox @stevenfurtick

  • Corlia

    I also have a kindle copy ordered mr Author …:)

  • This is the question that hangs me up….are you a professional photographer? Do people pay me to photograph them…yes. Do I have a degree or formal training…no. Are there people more talented than me…yes. Can I take a beautiful photo…yes. Is it what pays my bills…no. Hmmm…umm..sure…I’m a professional photographer. :-/

  • R W

    That pic looks suspiciously like Mt. Rainer?

  • Carlo

    A teacher/professor. I’m a pastor who is working on a PhD and teaches undergrads on the side. I love pastoral stuff, but I feel just as called to teach and write as I do to preach.Still feel awkward saying I’m a teacher.

  • Elise

    I dislike the “What do you do?” question because I don’t want ‘customer service’ to define me….though I do have the ability to do it well. I want to be known as someone who loves well. It may be cliché, but it’s my heart, nonetheless. It’s not a ‘job’ but it’s my calling. Maybe I simply lack the courage to call myself customer service rep extraordinaire 😉 …because where else but within the confines of a mundane job, serving the public, would one find any greater opportunity to love?

    • Elise

      I would also love to have the courage to call myself ‘internet-competent’…. But, alas, I’ve posted a picture of myself underneath the comment, in case you can’t see the one beside my name.

  • Pingback: Friends Threatening To Kick My A** & A New Found Confidence. – My 31 Day Journal To Becoming An Author | Ragamuffin Soul()