OK. So we all know I left the ATL. The Promised Land. The Waffle House. The KKK. All things that made Tucker and Rome GA…well…Tucker and Rome GA. I will always be a Panamanian Redneck at heart. Now I live in So Cal. But we all remember that in between I ended up in Fresno, CA. I was there for 2 years. I met my future wife there. If any of you knows anyone from Fresno you know that they SWEAR by that city. If only Fresno was every city the world would be a better place. Since I was only there 2 years, I was not jaded by the Fresno Fever. OK. So I went to my share of rodeos. I hit the fair circuit with the best of them. I took Heather on a date to see the Fresno Falcons. I went clubbing at the Black Angus. I did “local” things. And I must admit I do defend Fresneck when someone makes cow tipping and bowling alley jokes. But not like the jaded ones. Great examples of Fresneckites would be my beautiful wife Heather. Another would be one of my worship leaders Becca. She is Fresno for life. Another would be our friend Anna. Her husband Chris and I know the rules. Fresno every other weekend or we sleep on the sofa. Lord only knows that I will never meet anyone in Riverside with this kind of “town spirit”. So beyond all the joking I guess it is kind of cool. But until we get a new mayor, the jokes will come. If you can watch your mayor every night at 2 am on TNT, the jokes will come. Wait a second? Did I just say…”But until WE get a new mayor? Crap. I have to go. All this reminiscing is making me feverish.
Shout out to all my Fresno homies…


You Know You’re From Fresno When…

You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal
a “Tri-tip” comes from.

You think salsa goes on everything

Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion.

Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October, but clear
out before the end of April.

The best restaurants in town start with “El” or “Los.”

You think $400 a month rent is way too high.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.

The pool can be warmer than you are.

You realize that Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.

You still don’t know your way around downtown.

Anywhere “and 99” is too far away.

You think you’re better than people from Clovis.

Someone mentions the Fair and your thoughts immediately turn to
Cinnamon Rolls.

You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in
December.

You have to explain to someone about “G Street.”

The whole town shuts down at 11:00.

You complain about how boring Fresno is, but still make fun of
people from Sanger, Selma, Reedley, etc.

You hadn’t been to Manchester Center in 10 years until the movie
theater opened.

You never knew how you managed before River Park.

Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and tell
them, “Just wait.”

You know not to take Shaw at 8, 12, or 5.

You swear there was an orchard there last week, where now there are houses.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Fresno.

OK. So I have the fever.
Los
Thebigfresnofair_bw