This was taken off Crowders blog. He is captivating as he describes Jen’s experience…

“…she has this way of breathing out. i’d watch her. she’d close her eyes. actually, they just closed on their own, without too much thought. i don’t think she had much of anything to do with them closing. so, her eyes closed, and then she would exhale through her nose and it looked like she sank, into space. wherever she was, it looked like a heaviness pushed down on her in perfect synchronicity with the exhaled breath leaving her body. sometimes she’d come back to us quickly. other times she’d exhale again and sink some more. the weight pushing her down growing. she’d exhale again and sink again until she was barely there. i was told that she sank here first on the ride to the hospital. she was laying in the back seat. quiet. barely there. when i’d talk to her i’d say things and hope that her eyes didn’t close. but i loved it. i loved the way they closed. it was magnificent. i studied her. then when the weight came to me, i mimicked her. i closed my eyes (i think this is where i always get it wrong) and exhaled. i would fall. not sink. whatever support was under me would disappear, give way. the wind wouldn’t come back. i would fall. her eyes would close so gracefully. i slammed mine shut. her eyes closing was grace. i’ve never really understood that word. it’s used so much and it sounds so nice coming off the tongue with it’s amazing tune playing in time with the moment but i think it’s more offensive and terrifying, like her eyes closing. i didn’t want her eyes to close. i didn’t want her to sink. i wanted to keep her above it. but then her eyes would close and i would see grace and it is the most beautiful thing. i told her that i stared at her, like everybody else was doing, during the service and i could see the words traveling through the air to her chest and changing her face. you could see the ones that brought lightness and the ones that reached in and put something back where it was supposed to be and the ones that screamed across the space and pressed with the weight of sadness and she’d close her eyes and exhale and there’d be grace and it was the most beautiful thing. i always thought grace had a smile. it doesn’t. but it is most definitely, shockingly beautiful to see.”

This pic was taken the day before the accident.
B11733417
wow.
Los