***Angry Dad Edit***
I’ve been thinking about this comment and decided to post a reply along with the original post…

Anonymous comment from angry parent at my kids preschool:

Ode to the grumblings of a local “celebrity.” Sir, I am very sorry but I thought you received the memo. You see, I had told Ms. Salmon to have the red carpet ready for you today and also instructed her to have a special chair with extra padding in the front row for you. Of course, I could have gotten sidetracked as I was getting my $900 camera serviced before I got to the parade. Hey, Is that beat up Toyota Camry yours? Newsflash!! Nobody cares!!! But if you want to think that the whole world revolves around you, go right ahead. Hey by the way. Some of us actually do like visiting our kids at school…you’re not the only one silly. You sound really bitter. Did you miss out on your childhood like Michael Jackson or are you upset because you get treated like a famous person everywhere else but not at Fumps. Tell you what I’m gonna do. Maybe I can talk to the staff and have you booked at next years Christmas play to sing. Then we can see you top last years obvious ”
waste of my time attitude.” Well, continue the good work and I hope your negative attitude doesn’t rub off on your kids but I’m sure it will. I gotta go….My Treos ringing.
Signed, Anonymous

My reply to the Anonymous comment from angry parent at my kids preschool:
If you really are an angry preschool parent, please feel free not to leave anonymous comments so that we can actually communicate and you can have a real conversation with me. You and I both know that there are dads who don’t want to be there. This obviously does not include you. So I am sorry if you thought it did. My humor is extreme and my joking is in your face. This blog is one about telling truths and making light of them. I obviously offended you, and am sincerely sorry.
My kids are in a parade tomorrow. The Mexican ones. Not the Korean one. Although I guess he is Mexican now too. Or maybe not until the court papers are officially signed. Then he will be Mexican. I think. Will he still be Korean? I think so. So if I am Panamexican. Heather is Germexican. He will be Korgerpanamexican.
Poor kid.
My 2 girls are in their schools Easter parade tomorrow. First United Methodist of Riverside’s Annual Preschool Easer Parade. Let me tell you what this means.
I will drive up to the church around 11:15 AM in my ‘98 Camry. I hurry to park so no moms whisper to themselves that I really should wash my car and fix my cracked windshield. It is nasty.
I will soon approach the dreaded Circle of Pride.
This is the circle that you must conquer in order to get an adequate photo of your child. But unless you camped out the night before you won’t get a spot in the cushioned seats. My wife will have camped out. We will have MADE IT IN!!! I usually try and find the guy with the telescopic lens he paid 900 bones for and stand next to him. I’ll slip him a 10 if he snaps of few of my kids. “One will be black and one will be white”. He’ll just smile nervously and nod.
There will not be many dads there. And some (no not you) are PISSED that they are there. Usually checking their Treo’s every 30 seconds and holding onto the kid not old enough to be in preschool yet while they throw up fake goo goo sounds to the baby as if they would rather be no other place. What’s a run on sentence? The really unlucky ones are holding their wives purses. They make ZERO eye contact with any other male in order not to lose their masculinity.
Then we all wait in anticipation for our kids to parade by as we scream out their names, praying to God that it is not my kid holding the teachers hand while being dragged around the circle. It will be. Seanna. It is all too much fun.

Then the parade begins.
This means 2 things.
1. Sohaila will be smiling ear to ear.
2. Seanna will not.

And although I am not a betting man, unless in Vegas at the Casino Royal at 2 in the morning, I will bet that tomorrow you will see 2 pictures. One of Sohaila grinning ear to ear. And the other of Seanna not.

I also will bet that the dad with the 900 dollar lens will take worse pictures than I will get with my Blackberry Pearl. Unless that preschool dad is Hale-Yeah of course. He always has better gear than me.
I have no idea why I am writing so much lately. Or why I placed Polish Penguins in the title of this post.
I must be hormonal.