So I joined this gym called The Forum Athletic Club in Buckhead. Almost everyone I talk to tells me that is where the “celebrities” work out. So obviously, I joined for some good blogging material. And Ragamuffins, tonight did not let us down.
I walked into the gym around 8:45 pm and scanned my little card. The gym was somewhat empty. A good vibe. So I continued towards the locker rooms.
I passed by a few Buckhead Betty’s and smiled kindly as I made my way to the back.
The locker room was empty, not too stinky, and cold. I remember the cold.
I went around the corner and found an empty locker.
Being the 34 year old hunk of testosterone that I am, I turned to to mirror and gave about 30 good seconds of flexing fame to the man in the mirror.
“My legs…” I thought. “They are so skinny” “But my belly…it is so big”
So I figured, well, I better weigh myself. So I dropped the drawers and headed over to the scale. 196. DANGIT. I have gained about 6 pounds in the last 3 months and it was time to hit it hard. So I joyfully pranced back to the locker, stopped in front of the mirror for one last flex, and placed my workout shorts on.
My belly was feeling a bit nauseous from dinner so I decided to lose some weight before the actual workout.
I caught up on some RSS feeds on my iPhone for about 5 minutes of “thinking time”. When I left the stall I did think to myself, “Man I am wasting some time. I have been in here for at least 15 minutes.”
So I stuck my headphones in, started walking out when I felt that tiny little urge to #1.
You know how it is. You are about to run 45 minutes and the last thing you want to do is stop half way through to go potty.
So although I had loafed around in the locker room for 15 minutes flexing, weighing myself, and wasting time I knew I had to go again.
I turned around to hit up the urinals.
“That’s weird?”, I thought.
Where were the urinals?
I walked a bit faster around the corner. Nothing.
The other corner. Nothing.
I turned around and sprinted towards the front door as another gym member came walking into the locker room.
SHE never looked up as she walked by me…
The lady on the triceps machine looked stunned as I walked out of the LADIES LOCKER ROOM!!!
I had no where to hide.
I ran to the treadmill all the while thinking about the last 15 minutes of my naked life.
I could not concentrate enough to run. I went to the font desk and talked to “Sarah”.
“Um. Hi. My name is Carlos. I just joined the gym a few days ago. Well, I , um, kinda don’t know how to tell you this…but, I, um, kinda accidently changed in the women’s locker room. I SWEAR I didn’t see anything. Actually. You should have seen me. I mean not literally. But you know. I totally thought I was in the men’s locker room. They look SO MUCH THE SAME!!! Has this ever happened to anyone before?!?!?! No one came in the entire time I was in there. I would have been mortified if someone walked in. So do you think you might be able to go in there and get my clothes?”
Sarah made me feel like only half the loser I was. She swore up and down that the locker rooms look the same and it has happened before but no one has actually ever hung out in there.
She went in and rescued my boots, jeans, and bag.
And of’course, EVERY muscle clad male model happened to be working out at the entrance of the locker rooms when she escorted me in to retrieve my clothing.
They all looked a bit confused as I walked straight into the mens locker room to put my stuff away.
As I walked past them all towards the treadmills I heard a whistle and laughter.
It took everything in me not to turn around and wink.
So see. Ragamuffin don’t need no celebrity to make story.
Just follow me around for a day and you’ll have enough for a novel.