You know what I’m talking about. The one where you can’t quite catch your breath and your nostrils are flared like Kong himself.
I had a HARD day. Real hard. I was not sure why. Nothing sucked. Things went pretty well. I just had a yearning.
Around 4 o’clock I asked God what it was. He said nothing.
Then when I got to my office I sat down in my little corner where I hide from everyone who gets off the elevator on my floor since they can look directly into my office door and smile uncomfortably at the new guy.
I love this little spot. Here is a little image.
Photo 234-1

When I sat down I looked up at the frame to my left. Then it hit me. And I cried. I cried for 30 minutes.
This is what I was looking at.
Photo-6

6 months ago today I was standing on a stage in Riverside California leading a couple thousand engaged and worshiping family members in my last worship set at Sandals Church.
After 9 I left what quite possibly could have been the healthiest worshipping community in the United States. I say that quite literally.
When you look at the picture below you see my wife on the bottom holding her hands in her face.
Why? Because we knew we would not experience that again. At least not there.
Heathcry

And so I sit here in my chair. 2500 miles away. Crying as I type. Not because I do not want to be here. I know God called me here.
But I cry because I remember watching Sue, standing next to Heather, walk into our gymnasium for the first time and wonder what these people were doing lifting their hands up. When I left she was engaged in obedient worship. I cry because standing next to Sue is Jamila. Married in our gym during a church service. Turning her back on Islam and in turn watching her entire family turn her back on her. Knowing that the face she is seeing behind her closed eye lids is the face of Jesus. I cry because when I got to Sandals Church there was not one hand raised and when I left every fist was pumping.
So you see it is ok to cry. Because the truth is I miss that place called Sandals. It was home.
And although I do not aim to duplicate what God was doing there, here, I do aim to disturb career Christians into seeing His face fresh again.
Real With Myself, Others, and God.
Carlos