[These are make believe letters to make believe experiences meant to garnish conversation]

Hey. It’s me again.
Dude Who Just Came Back To Church After 10 Years Because Church Sucks.

I decided not to come back last week because the Lakers were on Sunday night.
Man was that a mistake.
So tonight, after the sing-a-long, I happened to catch a conversation in the hallway.
This dude was telling this chic, “Man. Worship was amazing tonight!!!”
He was using all sorts of fancy words like anointed, renown, indescribable, and guitar tone.
He also said you sounded better on the third song than Charlie Hall.
I don’t know who Charlie Hall is, but this guy obviously did.
Maybe Charlie is his cousin or something.
This guy was standing about 2 rows in front of me.
He had his hands raised the entire first song.
He text messaged the entire second song.
He was really going for it the third song.
It might have been because he thought you sounded better than that Charlie guy.

I’ve only been here twice.
I just don’t get why he was all excited after the service?
It was like he was taking notes on you or something.
I honestly did not even notice you.
But this guy in the hallway, he seemed to notice everything you did.
I guess I’m just confused.
If all that singing is to God…
why is everyone talking about how amazing they felt during the sing-along afterwards?

That Dude Who Just Came Back To Church After 10 Years Because Church Sucks.