A few years back, Anne and I would joke on iChat as to the state of the blogosphere and how we were desperately trying to get to the cool kids table.
How blogging is a lot like high school.
You have your popular crowd, your tree hugging purists, your jocks, your cheerleaders, your nerds, and the kids who secretly wish they could blow up the popular kids.
Blogging is like high school all over again for grownups.
We each sit in our little corner of the world reading about other people’s lives, secretly wishing we could somehow amount to what we see through our 15″ of LCD.
The last 2 weeks I have 3 gotten emails from people I have NEVER met apologizing to me for them harboring bitterness in their hearts against me because I have more facebook friends, have a higher Technorati ranking, have a cool job, can roll my rrrrr’s, and so on.
While I appreciate these emails in the fullest, and can’t even imagine the balls it took to write them, I can’t help but be bothered by what is happening.
We are aspiring to be people who, let’s face it, are just better at painting their web 2.0 canvas than us.
And we hold up our canvas in front of our webcams and show the world 25 seconds a day of who we are.
And somehow that is translated as life.
And somehow that is seen as a goal to attain by you/I.

I’m a storyteller.
I’m good at it.
When I was a kid, I was the one picked to tell the ghost story before bed because everyone knew I would scare the hell out of David Tayler. His mom would hear his cry make me pack up and go back home for being mean.
I smiled the whole way home.
Why?
Because I painted a picture for that kid that scared him to death.
Well now I get to paint a picture that is my life.
If I wanted to, in one day, I could put up videos, pictures, and conversations, that would convince you that I am the most miserable human being on the face of the earth.
And they would all be true.
But I’m not going to do that.
I’m going to try and paint the complete truth.
But it will ALWAYS be jaded.

So as I sit here rambling over my sentences and thoughts, rereading this mess of a post and convincing myself that it does not have to make sense, I know there are people reading this who can’t stand me.
They can’t stand me because they feel like I get all the breaks and life just happened to work out for me.
I go back to this mornings quote…
“If you find yourself criticizing other people, you’re probably doing it out of Resistance. When we see others beginning to live their authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own. Individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others. If they speak at all, it is to offer encouragement. Watch yourself. Of all the manifestations of Resistance, most only h arm ourselves. Criticism and cruelty harm others as well.”
My charge to you is to stop sitting in front of that screen convincing yourself that you could do/be/live/write/smile/love better than I.
You can.
Just get off your @$$ and go do it.

It’s better that way.
Los