When you leave something you love, it is always messy.
I left my life over a year ago.
Sandals Church is my heart beat.
It still is.
You can’t birth something like that and it not be in your blood.
So when I left, I cried.
I cried like the sissy that I am.
I also talked.
I talked like the sissy that I am.
I said things like…”I’m finally able to be who God created me to be.”
I said things like…”I finally feel like I am not being held back”
And you know what.
Those are true.
But what I did not say were these things…
“I’m finally free to be who God intended me to be because I get to start fresh without the wounds I placed on other peoples souls”
“I’m finally able to be who God intended me to be because I am finally living a fully obedient life as opposed to the life I did not lead for so long while I was learning to minister at Sandals.”
Why should those statements matter?
Because in the thick of it all, Sandals Church hung on to me 567 times longer than they should have.
I would have fired myself 634 times if I was in charge.
At 22,23,24,25,26 and so on.
But instead, Matt and Nathan were examples of this.
I am a living, breathing example of People of the Second Chance.
And because of their willingness to hold my hand as we figured it all out, I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be.
At Buckhead Church helping lead this community into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ (while teaching them to be real with themselves, others, and God 😉 ).
Wherever you are.
You are only there because of God’s graciousness and some human’s tolerance.
And I’m not writing this just out of sort of props I feel Sandals is due.
I want the world to know that in spite of the effed up human being I was/am, Sandals gave me an opportunity to minister inside of that.
And I tell you this…
Before you kick that stupid, lazy, self righteous, porn watching, truth spinning, egocentric 20 something year old kid to the curb, look in the mirror and thank God your last church didn’t take your own advice.
Keep it real.
It’s better that way.