facessea

When you give me that look you are giving in that top left picture I have to turn my head to smile before I turn back and look devastated.
When you give me that fake smile like you did in the top right picture I see your mother before I ever saw your mother.
When you finally get over yourself and lose yourself in silliness like that bottom left picture my stomach hurts from laughing as I walk that fine line of not making you feel laughed AT but laughed WITH.
And in that bottom right pic, when you spread your eye lids wide as the chasm I feel in my chest when I have to get on a plane or get on a bus, I actually see more of me that I care to admit.

There is no understanding that exists inside of me that could adequately communicate the painful, high, and reckless love in which you fill me with.
When you simply press your cheek to mine to feel my face or dodge my lips my heart almost stops.

Look. I know your a mommy’s girl. You like to tell me. She likes to tell me. But last night when you walked upstairs I heard you…then I saw you…I saw you walk to the middle of the room…see mommy on uncle Eric’s one couch…then me on the other couch…I saw you walk over to mommy and lay down…I smiled…then 30 seconds later I felt you lay next to me…

I smiled…and hoped the beads of salt and water would stay on my cheek and not fall on your face…
They fell…
And I fell more in love with you…
Because even in your drunken, sleepy, incoherent state…
You chose me to hold you…
Even though actually…
You held me…
Keep wrecking and rebuilding my heart Seanna…
You make me feel alive.
Daddy