“Some people have all the luck.”
That statement couldn’t be further from the truth. “Some people” don’t have all the luck. One person has all the luck. His name? Carlos Whittaker.
Those of you who know Carlos and follow him on a regular basis are all too aware of this truth. And quite frankly, I’m sick of it. And you should be too. I mean, consider the following:
+ I text while driving, I get a ticket. Carlos produces a video while driving and gets a Peoples Choice Award.
+ I watch The Bachelorette and get ostracized from my family. Carlos watches The Bachelorette and gets asked to appear regularly on CNN as a “pop culture expert”.
+ I’ve been trying to get my catchphrase “that’s straight beef” to catch on since 2001. Carlos says “boomsauce” a couple times on Twitter and it’s now so common my Great Aunt used it in proper context.
+ I only get one race. Carlos gets all the others.
+ I tweet more than seven times in a day and my best friends unfollow me. Carlos tweets seven times per minute and thousands complain that it isn’t more.
+ I release a single with Chris Tomlin and it slowly fades into obscurity. Carlos releases an album and it now comes standard in the back of all TNIVs.
+ I punch a guy in the face, I get the crap knocked out of me. Carlos punches a guy and he gets up begging for another “Whittaker-maker.”
+ I make a 90-second montage of my entire day and people label me narcissistic. Carlos makes a 90-second montage of his day and families watch them for their daily devotions.
+ I want a tattoo and can’t even get my friend to come record it with his iPhone. Carlos wants a tattoo and TLC begs him to do it on LA Ink.
+ I released a book a year ago. Carlos’ unreleased book has already sold more copies than mine.
+ I pass gas, I get the evil eye from everyone in the car. Carlos passes gas, and every passenger in the car rolls up the window to savor the moment.
@loswhit, knowing you has been the single most humbling experience of my life. And I don’t think I’m alone in this.
Ragamuffin community: I know you feel my pain. What can you add to this list?
Carlos and I will pick our favorite one and give that person a copy of my book and one of his CDs.
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