I have such jacked up view of the word love.
I told that girl I dated that I loved her only to use her.
I was told by that scary man when I was 5 that he loved me only to be scarred by him.
I told my wife that I loved her only to destroy her.
I was told by that pastor that he loved me only to have him stab me in the back.

It’s no wonder that when I tell my non Christian friends that God loves them, they look at me with glossy eyes and say…
“Oh. Cool.”

So you may call me a pagan.
You may call me a false teacher.
But let me tell you when I got it.

I finally got it when I stopped believing God loved me and started believing this.
When God sees me He literally gets weak in the knees.
He loses His breath for a second. His heart palpitates.
God has to sit down for a second because He is SO enamored and obsessed with me that He watches my every move with a reckless hope that I may, just for a moment, look Him back in the eyes.
And when I do, His entire week is made.

Yea.
That’s what God feels about me.
You may call that love.

I don’t.
I call that a hopeless longing.

So if God loving you isn’t working for ya.
It’s ok.
Cause our word for love doesn’t even touch what God feels for you.

It’s better that way.
Los