I have such jacked up view of the word love.
I told that girl I dated that I loved her only to use her.
I was told by that scary man when I was 5 that he loved me only to be scarred by him.
I told my wife that I loved her only to destroy her.
I was told by that pastor that he loved me only to have him stab me in the back.
It’s no wonder that when I tell my non Christian friends that God loves them, they look at me with glossy eyes and say…
“Oh. Cool.”
So you may call me a pagan.
You may call me a false teacher.
But let me tell you when I got it.
I finally got it when I stopped believing God loved me and started believing this.
When God sees me He literally gets weak in the knees.
He loses His breath for a second. His heart palpitates.
God has to sit down for a second because He is SO enamored and obsessed with me that He watches my every move with a reckless hope that I may, just for a moment, look Him back in the eyes.
And when I do, His entire week is made.
Yea.
That’s what God feels about me.
You may call that love.
I don’t.
I call that a hopeless longing.
So if God loving you isn’t working for ya.
It’s ok.
Cause our word for love doesn’t even touch what God feels for you.
