I’m no idiot.
I knew the day was coming.
I guess I just didn’t know how my heart would react when it came.
We have been VERY intentional since Losiah was a baby to keep his adoption alive and well in our home.
He has a picture book of his foster family.
We talk about our return visit to Korea all the time.
I think we have a pretty healthy relationship with that part of our story.
But he also rarely talks about his birth mom.
He will talk about his foster mom all the time.
She raised him from 1 month old till 6 months old when these Mexicans came and infiltrated his life.
That is until last Sunday. Mother’s Day.
We had an amazing day and as it was drawing to the end one of his sisters did something to set him off.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Tears were had. Apologies were made.
He crawled into my bed about 75% done with his tears.
“You ok buddy?” I asked him.
Sniff Sniff. “Not really daddy.”
Heather chimed in…
“What is it buddy?”
And then the tears sprang forth from his eyeballs like Mentos in a 2 liter Pepsi Bottle.
“Seaweed!” he cried.
“Seaweed! What if she doesn’t know I like Seaweed??!!!”
I replied…”Who buddy?”
“You know daddy. What if she doesn’t know I like seaweed? Do you think she likes seaweed???!!!”
You see Losiah LOVES seaweed. He eats the little squares like we eat chips. It’s in his DNA.
It is so uniquely him and so NOT uniquely us.
And in this moment…
He wondered is his birth mother liked what he liked.
And more accurately…He wondered if she was thinking about him…at that moment.
Heather chimed in.
“You know what son? I promise you. She is thinking about you right now. And not only today, but she thinks about you everyday. And we think about her too. So it’s ok to wonder, cry, laugh, and anything else you ever want to do. We love that you wonder that cause we wonder that too.”
That was it. No magic words.
Just an acknowledgment of his wonder and his pain.
And with that he stopped crying, I tucked him in bed, I walked to the kitchen, I grabbed a piece of seaweed, I put it in my mouth, I almost vomited, I spit it out, and I reminded myself of the gift he is to our family. From one soul in Seoul to our soul here.