As the outpouring of grief continues in the death of a hero to many of us, probably the biggest cry I am hearing is for people with mental illness to know that they are…“Not Alone”
“You are not alone”… we chant.
When I am NOT in the midst of a MMA Death Match with Depression…this sounds really comforting.
When I AM in the midst of a MMA Death Match with Depression…this is a lie.
3 weeks ago, as I woke up after an AMAZING few days with my family in Jackson Hole, I could literally feel depression roll in with every centimeter my eyelids opened.
“$#@!@$#. NO. NO. NO. Please make it go away God.”
But of course it stayed.
And it stayed for 3 days this time.
Every morning waking up with the hope the suffocating mask would be gone.
And it wasn’t.
Within those three days my kids sat on my lap more, made me my coffee, my wife told me it will go away soon and answered my emails for me.
I could see that I was not “alone”.
But the truth is…
I WAS ALONE.
Nobody but me was trapped within the confines of my head.
I was alone in my head.
Imagine for a moment…
You are surrounded by every single person in the world who loves you.
There is a celebration of who you are and there is a huge party happening.
Everyone is waiting to talk to YOU and tell you that they love you and you are amazing.
Sounds awesome huh?
Now imagine you are in a space suit.
You can barely hear what anyone is saying and although you are being hugged, you can’t feel anything.
In the midst of not being “alone”…
You are alone.
I write all this to say, Yes, make sure you tell your friends with depression they are loved and you are near…
But they ARE alone.
So don’t just BE NEAR THEM and tell them they are not alone when the suffocating space suit of depression envelops them…
LIVE FOR THEM until the suit comes off.
Cause until the suit comes off…
They are alone.