If you are a married man with kids and have a somewhat healthy family life I’m going to assume this the truth of your bachelor weekends.

 

You love you wife and kids.

Like you love being with them, snuggling with them, and laughing with them.

But when the opportunity presents itself for all of them to go out of town for a few days…

Something rises from deep within.

This feeling of freedom that you once knew.

They are going to leave on Friday and come back Sunday night.

Thursday night you start planning it all out…

Friday night beer, pizza, video games.

Saturday you sleep in till 10 and stay in bed watching Game Of Thrones till noon.

Saturday afternoon you will go see a movie.

Saturday night all the guys will come over and play poker till 1am.

Sunday you will begin to clean the house in the morning, during NFL commercials, and make sure it looks perfect by the time they walk back in the door.

 

This is the dream.

Here is the reality.

 

They leave at 6pm.

You open first beer at 6:01pm.

You start watching House Hunters at 6:02pm cause you don’t want to get up to turn on the playstation.

At 6:30pm you call the wife…

“Where you guys at?  How is the drive?”

By 8:30pm the silence in the house is deafening.

You walk into the kids room, for no reason at all and just look.

“Man…I love them…”

You walk to the kitchen, open the fridge, and stare into it for 5 minutes.

Then you shut the door without grabbing anything else and walk back to the sofa.

You flip to ESPN and watch the same 10 stories being reported on SportsCenter for the 3rd time that night.

You call wife again…

“Now what are you guys doing? And why haven’t you answered my last 4 calls?” you ask.

“Baby.  I’m at my sisters house.  I came here to spend time with her and not on the phone WITH YOU.  I love you bye…” she replies.

And you suddenly, at that moment realize…

You are the neediest man in the history of mankind.

And the rest of the weekend is the longest, slowest, boringest, weekend you have ever had.

Once you go from being a ME to and WE… Dreams of ME are fun but the reality of WE is much, much better.

Can I Get A Witness???

Los